Finding My Rhythm: My First 90 Days as a Stay-at-Home Mom

Bringing business strategy to motherhood—how quarterly goal-setting is helping me enjoy my new role

If you missed last week's post (you can catch up here) or you're looking for a little TLDR: after 8 years of being an entrepreneur, I've decided to downshift my career and focus on my family. It was both a hard and easy decision, but I'm determined to keep my ambitious spirit alive in my new venture as a Stay-at-Home Mom. Which really, we need to come up with a better name because I still cringe a bit when I say it. I'm working on it.

If the first quarter of my stay-at-home work life taught me anything, it's that I crave structure and goal-setting more than I originally thought. However, if you've ever spent time around little humans (and my best bet is if you're reading this, you have), you know that structure means nothing to them. If anything, they laugh in the face of it. It's not an easy balance to strike.

In order to keep a sense of progression and acknowledgment (albeit I'm just acknowledging myself) in my life—something that felt really good as a business owner—I decided I'd make quarterly goals and review them at the end of each quarter. Just like I did in my Girl Boss days. Creating and achieving goals feels almost more important now that I've chosen to shed my career identity as I once knew it.

Measuring success here is going to be more subjective and less data-driven than in business, but just the practice of self-examination and reflection feels good to me.

I've got to be honest, this first quarter I've been mostly winging it. I spent these first few months focusing on two things:

1. Give myself "grace and space." Grace that I wasn't going to figure it all out week one. Space to let go and grieve my Girl Boss self. And just keep my expectations low.

2. Establish personal health habits to reach my postpartum weight loss goal and lose 25 pounds by March 31.

They say less is more, and in this instance, they are right. Having one general goal and one very specific goal was really great for me as I stumbled through my first few months as a SAHM.

let’s kick it off with the things that went well

• Dinner at 6:30PM solving bedtime struggles. Historically, my husband has cooked most of our dinners. But now that he's working later and I'm home, I've taken over weeknight meals and (mostly) stick to our schedule of 6:30PM dinner time for the kids. This has given them some downtime between dinner and bedtime (7:30PM) and has made bedtime much less stressful for all.

• One load of laundry every day. I resisted this one for so long. Doing laundry every day just sounded like the worst when I heard other moms talk about it. What's that saying? Don't knock it til you try it? Not to be dramatic but, it's changed my life. It truly only takes 20 minutes a day. Every night I collect everyone's dirty clothes and put them in the washer. In the morning before kids wake up, I start the load. Turn it over at some point and then sort, fold, and put away same day. The other amazing thing: if you miss one day, it's no big deal because the habit is there and you just add it the next. Game changing!!

• Lost 25 pounds by March 29th! I'm so proud of this one! I'm actually down 31 pounds now as I write this (psst…next week's post will break down what I've been doing to hit weight loss goals, so stay tuned if you're interested!) and I still have 24 pounds to lose to hit my ultimate goal.

• Learned 3 (!) songs on guitar. And going on four right now! Learning to play guitar has been a lifelong goal of mine. My dad plays guitar, and I've loved music from a very young age. My parents gave me a really beautiful acoustic guitar for my birthday last year, and I practice almost every day. It's so fun and life-giving. I like that my kids are seeing me be bad at something, practice every day, and get better. It also helped me work toward one of my unofficial goals this quarter, which was to be on my phone less and in my life more.

One thing that has really struck me these last few months, even though it feels fairly obvious when I say it, is that daily habits really make our lives. If you look at what I've outlined as success above, I did those four things every day or 6 out of 7 times during the week. If you want to change your life, look at what you do on a daily basis.

With daily habits in mind, I do want to be more strategic about setting goals for Q2. I think one strategy that feels exciting for me is to choose 2-3 main focus goals that will be incorporated daily and then have another 3-5 goals that feel more fun and "bucket list"-esque. I want to strike a nice balance between realistic and measurable goals while still having fun, slightly unrealistic goals to daydream about.

When I've thought about stay-at-home moms in the past, I imagined someone who spends all day in sweats, lacks ambition, and is a servant to her kids. Yikes. I've been so wrong and judgmental. And sure, maybe there are some lazy SAHMs out there, but there are lazy working moms too. Just like there are super ambitious and badass career moms and super ambitious and badass SAHMs. The real beauty here, especially when we talk about setting goals, is that we get to define our own versions of mom success.

Main focus goals for Q2:

• Lose 25 pounds to hit my goal in Q2.

• Create a new daily writing habit.

• Develop stress management habits.

Fun, aspirational goals:

• Reach 1,500 free subscribers and 50 paid here on Substack. :)

• Get dressed twice a week

• Try 3 new recipes

• Create and stick to a weekly cleaning routine

• Decorate and move the girls to their shared room

let’s get tactical

Here’s the breakdown plan of how I’ll take action, track progress and ultimately measure success in a few months time. I find the more I keep it simple, the easier it is to make progress towards goals. Again, less is more. So here’s my super simple plan for each main goal.

Weight Loss

• Weekly weigh-ins for accountability

• Daily food logging and tracking

• Consistent exercise routine

(Psst. Next week's post will be super detailed on my routines for losing 25 pounds in three months!)

Writing

• 30 minutes each morning before the house wakes up

• Goal of publishing one post per week

• Using my journal for daily idea collection

Stress Management

• 5-10 minutes of breathwork each morning

• 10-minute evening stretch routine before bed

• Screen-free wind-down hour

Now, I know what you're thinking—how do you actually remember to do all this? Here's my secret weapon: a habit tracking app I've been using consistently for years.

Below is a screenshot and here’s the link to download! I update it whenever I refresh my daily habit goals.This will be so helpful when I go to measure goals at the end of Q2. Plus I love keeping a good streak. It really motivates to not drop the ball because who wants to lose like a 3, 5 or 10 day streak! It’s so sastifying.

This is what it looks like when you complete all your daily habits. It’s so fun. You can customize your colors. I like to do these simple verbs because it’s minimal and easy to understand. Play is for my guitar practice mostly but I will also mark that off if I sit with my kids and paint or do something that feels like true play to me.

I've learned that giving my days structure while embracing the inevitable chaos of motherhood creates a balance that works for my ambitious personality. This quarterly review practice is already helping me feel more purposeful and accomplished in this new chapter.

So here's to Q2—to setting intentions, building on my existing habits, and redefining what success looks like in this new chapter of life. And maybe, just maybe, by the end of it, I'll have come up with a better title than "Stay-at-Home Mom" that captures this challenging, rewarding, and surprisingly (and delightfully!) strategic role.

I'd love to hear from you: Do you set goals as a parent? What habits have been game-changers in your daily routine? Let me know in the comments!

Until next week,

Casey

But that’s not all!!!

Paid subscribers! Boy, do I have something special for you.

I'm sharing my secret weapon for seasonal inspiration—a Pinterest ritual that has transformed how I approach each new season. It's the system I use to curate my wardrobe, romanticize everyday life, and create a vision for who I want to be this spring. Plus, I'll walk you through exactly how I organize my boards and share specific pins that are inspiring my Q2 goals right now.

If you're looking to bring more intention and just find silly little cute things to do that makes life extra enjoyable, this simple but powerful practice might be just what you need.

Okay here is the hack! I have a Pinterest board for every season. And each new season I add to it leading up to it and during. So right now we just entered Spring but depending on what’s going on with my Pinterest scroll, I might start pinning a teeny bit to my Summer board.

But here’s the strategy. You are creating the vibe for each new season. Who do you want to be? What do you want to read? What do you want your seasonal capsule wardrobe to look like? What recipes do you want to make? What are your affirmation for this season?

Each season’s Pinterest board becomes this really beautiful place for me to become inspired and stay inspired. If I have a day where I just feel so bleh and off, I can go to my seasonal board and get back into the vibe. Or find an outfit I want to try and put together. Or make a grocery list for a new recipe.

I’ve been doing this ritual for a couple years now and I just love it. It makes me so happy. And scrolling Pinterest is just the best scroll you can scroll - no current events, no one is shouting out you, no one is telling you eggs are bad for you (this week anyway) and so on.

So let’s take a look at my current Spring board and break it down to relate back to my fun and aspirational goals from above.

outfits I want to try this season

Which, have you ever heard your fashion style should be based on your rising astrology sign? Mine is Virgo which based on my own research via the internet means minimal, chic, polished and almost uniform-esque. Which honestly I love. So I’ve also been pulling Virgo Rising style inspiration into this Pinterest board as well! Also, when I pin to my seasonal board, I focus on outfits I can recreate without buying anything new.

recipes I want to try for spring

Ina Garten’s Almond Cake. I read her memoir this winter and I’m just obsessed. I’ve made a few of her recipes including her Pineapple Carrot Cake for my husband’s birthday cake and it was SO good.

This French Lentil Soup with Bacon. I love soup and will be squeezing the last little bit of soup season for all it’s worth.

BBQ Chicken and Grilled Corn Salad. I’m determined to learn how to grill this year! It’s my next cooking frontier.

Sheet Pan Chicken with Orzo. My girls love lemon and olives. And pickles and sauerkraut. Basically anything that involves sour and vinegar.

and last but not least the vibe

I want to get outdoors more this spring. I’m not naturally an outdoor girlie. I hate bugs and am so jumpy around them. Also not super into critters. But I do like being outside, especially with the kids and I know it’s good for me. But yeah, it’s not my natural state. I prefer to be indoors with my things and my blankets and no bugs lol

other things and ideas for you to pin…

Fun journaling prompts and creative writing ideas.

A parenting book I might read.

A little home DIY I’d love to try.

A wellness trick I want to try with all the benefits listed.

Are you going to try this for yourself? I really hope you do. It’s so fun and life-giving.

Thank you so much for reading and for being a paid subscriber! Your comments and messages continue to make this transition feel less lonely and more purposeful.

Truly, truly, your support means so much right now. As I navigate this new chapter, knowing that my words resonate enough for you to invest in them gives me confidence on days when I question this pivot. Your subscription is quite literally helping me build this bridge between my past identity and who I'm becoming. I'm endlessly grateful, and I promise to keep bringing you content that's worth every penny.

See you next week!

Casey