How to Build a Morning Routine (Even If You're in Survival Mode)

A realistic guide to creating morning routines that actually work for busy moms—no 5AM wake-ups or perfect Instagram setups required.

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Let's acknowledge the irony right out of the gate: I'm writing this while currently living through what might be my worst stretch of mornings in years. We’re currently staying with my parents where the baby wakes up at 6AM and my girls are up early with no blackout curtains. And I’m having to go to bed late because one of our senior dogs is having trouble holding his pee–it’s pure chaos at the moment and my mornings have been very inconsistent. Oh, and I lost my journal and haven’t been able to find it which is really gonna send me over the edge because I have a lot I need to work out on paper and no where to work it out LOL.

But you voted for this post, and I love to deliver!

The truth is, I've loved morning routines since before I even knew what the phrase meant. I'm just plain wired as a morning person. I love mornings in all their forms: bright and sunny, cozy and rainy, still and snowy. I especially love those fall mornings when it stays dark until 7AM and I get an hour or two of peace while the rest of the house sleeps.

Mornings have always felt like a little secret gift—one I open slowly, cup of coffee in hand.

Now, if you hate mornings, let me say this upfront: you can take everything I share here and simply shift it to a nighttime routine. I don't believe in forcing ourselves against our natural rhythms. Some people thrive after 10PM; I turn into a cranky pumpkin after 9PM. What I find nourishing in the early hours might work better for you in the evening—or even at lunchtime. The point isn't when. The point is find time and space that works best for you.

Why Morning Routines Matter (Even Short Ones)

I know I just gave you full permission to make this your own, but here's why mornings do have a bit of an edge. Study after study shows that starting your day with intention has ripple effects:

• Better mood

• Increased productivity

• Greater resilience when things (inevitably) go sideways

And no, that doesn't mean you need to wake up at 5AM or have a "perfect" routine.

The Science Made Simple

Here's what's actually happening in your brain and body when you create a morning routine—and why it matters more than you might think.

Every morning, your body releases cortisol (yes, the "stress hormone") but in a good way. This natural cortisol awakening response is supposed to give you energy and focus for the day. But when our mornings are chaotic—rushing kids, searching for lost shoes, grabbing whatever's closest for breakfast—we're essentially hijacking this natural process and turning it into actual stress.

A routine, even a simple one, works with your biology instead of against it. It gives your cortisol rhythm something predictable to anchor to, which is why you feel more grounded when you have some kind of morning structure and yes waking up before the kids, even just 15 minutes before, is scientifically guaranteed to help you.

Then there's your circadian rhythm—your body's internal clock that regulates sleep, energy, and mood. Research from Harvard shows that exposure to natural light within the first hour of waking helps regulate this rhythm, which improves both sleep quality and daytime energy. This is why stepping outside or sitting by a window during your morning routine isn't just nice—it's actually rewiring your cells to benefit you.

But here's my favorite piece of science: decision fatigue. Every choice you make throughout the day depletes your mental energy, from what to wear to what to make for lunch. A morning routine automates some of these decisions, preserving your mental bandwidth for the bigger stuff. It's why having the same breakfast or following the same sequence of activities can feel so much easier than starting from scratch every morning.

The kicker? A 2018 study found that people who maintained consistent morning routines reported 23% higher life satisfaction and better stress management. Not because their routines were elaborate, but because they were theirs.

Age-Specific Considerations

Your morning routine needs to fit your life, not the other way around. Here's how to adapt based on where you are in the parenting journey:

Newborn Phase (0-6 months): Listen, if you're reading this with a newborn, you're already winning. Your "routine" might be grabbing coffee and drinking it while it's lukewarm. That counts. I say, let’s rebrand to a micro-routine during this phase: three deep breaths before getting out of bed, washing your face mindfully, or reading one paragraph of something that isn't about sleep training. If you get a bathroom break alone, use it to practice box breathing. Even two minutes of quiet can reset your nervous system.

Toddler Phase (1-3 years): This is where early rising becomes your friend, even if it feels impossible. Try getting up just 15 minutes before your earliest riser. If that's 5:30 AM, I see you! And I know it’s hard but that quarter-hour of quiet with coffee can be the difference between surviving and thriving. Keep quiet activities ready for when they do wake up—coloring books, simple puzzles, or even a special morning cartoon that buys you a few extra minutes.

School Age (4-12 years): Here's where you get to choose: involve them or protect your solo time. Some mornings might include kids in gentle activities like stretching together or reading side by side. Other mornings, you might need to be clear that this is mama's time. My girls know they aren’t allowed to come out of their rooms until their light turns green at 7AM. But both avenues are totally valid and up to you. School schedules actually work in your favor here—once they're in the rhythm of getting ready, you can carve out pockets of time before or after they're up.

Teens: I hear teens sleep later? LOL. Which means your morning window might actually expand. Use this phase to reclaim some of that early morning magic you might have lost in the chaos of younger years. Your routine can be longer, quieter, more indulgent. Don't feel guilty about this gift. You've earned it.

The Practical Playbook

Let's get specific. Here's what different time commitments can actually look like:

If You Have 5 Minutes:

• Drink a full glass of water while looking out the window or ideally outside

• Write down three things you're grateful for (even in your Notes app counts!)

• Do gentle neck and shoulder stretches (here’s a 3 minute yoga tutorial!)

• Listen to one favorite song with your eyes closed

• Take five deep breaths and set an intention for the day

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